| Grandmother |
[Dec. 20th, 2006|10:26 pm] |
| [ | Tags | | | ta | ] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | JESSICA'S HOUSE | ] |
| [ | music |
| | FRIENDS TALKING ABOUT SHITTY BOSSES | ] |
Today my grandmother "Shorty" died of numonia she was on moriphine and had a lobotomy years ago emphezma hAD TO BE taken OUT.
my Grandfather is in the hospital with stomach cancer. he has not eaten solid food in one month.his body is emaciated to the point of his thighs being the sAME size of his wrists. i weeped in the hospital because his bones actually show through. i thougt i was tough and could withstand seeing the living dead but i cried and cried i was afraid to breathe like it was a air borne disease.
a friend of mine says that we don't die we only cease to exsist within these bodies. when i looked into my grandathers eyes he seemed to question why this was happening to him. i wanted to ask him "como stai?" but i forgot the words that i so often used. instead i kissed his forhead.
the same goes with the pictures i saw of my grandmother two or three days before her death her eyes moved apart like a new born childs and the color of her eyes devored by catarachs thAT fogGED her sight.
the skin flakes off like dust from the moment we are born and sheds every day every seven years all our cells are brand new...we shed dust until we are nothing but that which we came from. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 19th, 2006|03:13 pm] |
off to meshico in 9 days for a month WOO WOO
any requests /advice?
wish me luck in the booty department!!!kidding!!!
: D |
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| MeshiKO |
[Dec. 7th, 2006|08:18 am] |
THERE ARE 21 DAYS LEFT UNTIL I LEAVE FOR MEXICO. |
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| some art |
[Dec. 6th, 2006|11:13 am] |
to get myself into the Christmas spirit
here is the newest of the paintings
Starry Night
sorry the pictures are blurry but i have a terrible camera
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 26th, 2006|04:11 pm] |
i ate like shit for two days now
cake, wine and eggs
ewwww
this week i am not working at the usual Taro but instead nannaing for Clay who is annas brother and im getting paid. woo woo.
weekend was pretty much sucky except having diner at amy's house cause she has the best real stories of her life.went to crappy art party where people were high on coke and acting all retarded and flaky. arrrggg... the art sucked!
drank too much wine got hungover. then woke up and drank more wine and ate more cake now im at a heaLTHY 500 and 50 pounds.
here are pictures of my mum and younger brother on their birthdays in which i took them out for Italian food. there are no pictures of me because i have my face hidden by the cake!
oh and today i left y house without realizing that i had a rash all over my face. i thought people were loooking at me cause they thought i was Penelope cruz but then i was in honest eds and i glimsed in a mirror that i had splotchy red marks all over my face...oh god how embaressing..im never leaving my house again!!!!ever
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| re: I miss You |
[Nov. 22nd, 2006|07:46 am] |
dreams of swimming pools again
dog licked my face this morning
i am going to eat irish oatmeal, it takes 1 hour to make, and drinking green tea
i might meet up with my older adult friend Paul downtown for coffee and then he is taking me to the TD bank so i can get a credit card. he says he'll help me get one. its been a very hard thing for me to do.
hopefully i will finish the black dress i have been working on.
pine-bough is a good word. |
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| my left hand hurts with wounds |
[Nov. 17th, 2006|02:59 pm] |
jessica and tuesday
rock a bye baby
i like melba toast i like melba toast
WE ARE GONNA BRING IT ALL DOWN WITH OUR BRIEFCASES
NICE mouth jessica
they will make a jelly candy brand named after her mouth
cooper and i
he's whispering sweet nothings in my ear
here he was trying to fart on my face thank gosh i farted too
mmm ahhh yesh you are my little dumpling moon cake yesh you are fuzzy muffin |
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| it is my secret wish |
[Nov. 17th, 2006|02:48 pm] |
to pose nude for people
but
i am not going to (at least on livejournal or to creeps for that matter) so here are some small erotic semi nudes
boring Boring iam filling time before i pull lint out of the lint trap |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 15th, 2006|07:40 am] |
friday i stayed in & watched Mission Impossible 3 which is amazing by the way. didn't want to go out. saturday went to White Orchid dance party. Anna and i went to a restaurant first that only served beef. i asked if he could alter one of the dishes by just taking out the beef and adding veggies and his reply was no...so alas i settled for the one veggie dish..we also watched a great documentary about Michele Gondry called "ive been twelve forever" its amazing even more amazing then MI 3. got to the white orchid and started dancing immediately. the dance floor was packed and stinky by the end of the night. i fell in love with an art school guy. well not in love but something close. i didn't talk to him, i just smiled.
went home on the Yonge bus. i got married to a Mexican guy who asked me to marry him. he said he loved me and thought i was cute. So i thought like why the hell not. omg. so his friend walk us down the isle. then it was time to kiss the bride and i declined. i guess i got cold feet. he was very cute btw but a little too obnoxious for me. he took that as me saying he was ugly.
monday night i met Marco and LIzzy on the corner and we talked about lots of things including meditation. then i tried to ride a garbage truck, then we tried to scare the garbage men. then DEL finally arrived in a cab. him and i went to a bar where he bought all the drinks. his friends came and then iplayed songs on the juke box. del left to pick up drugs and his friends and i met him afterwards at Teds Collision. from there there was more booze. del asked me what i told his friend on the way there. he was being paranoid in thinking i was talking trash about him. i said nothing to his friends except that del was confusing and cute and not for me. but i told del that i thought he was really bad in bed. which is kinda true diary. but thats proablly cause hes drunk.
anyways later on we watched this movie which turned out to be a porno from suspect. it was called story of the eye and it was suppose to be about the book. but it ended up being all about blow jobs. orgies and whatever. gross i hated it it was even tasteful.
those cats did lots of cocaine not me i just watched dizzily from my languid slouches. then i went to bed. the end. oh by the way that night sucked even more then i expected it to. |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 10th, 2006|05:05 pm] |
here are some not to terribly interesting photos i took while i was bored friday night. yep i stayed home and did this kind of thing!!!
its really hard for me to find the "right" lipstick for my skin tone so ive basically used this rich color forever i guess it looks fine! |
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| MEXICO |
[Nov. 6th, 2006|11:11 am] |
SO FAR MEXICO CITY IS ROUGHLY $1029.00 CAD. TO GET TO AND FROM. THIS IS A NON STOP FLIGHT LEAVING APPROX. THE END OF DECEMBER TO THE END OF JANUARY.
APPARENTLY PEOPLE HAVE TO BOOK THEIR RETURN FLIGHTS BECAUSE THE MEXICAN GOVERNMENT WANTS TO KNOW WHEN YOUR GOING BACK TO YOUR OWN COUNTRY.
OAXACA IS BURNING! MEXICO IS BURNING! MY HEMMOROIDS ARE BURNING!
LUV ROBYN |
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| this is a catalogue of life |
[Nov. 2nd, 2006|08:18 pm] |
cough cough
can we make the internet explod? if we put a million livejournals into it daily will the net explod? |
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| halloweeeeeen |
[Oct. 25th, 2006|05:07 pm] |
yea a million trillion writhing things on the plate woooooooooo eeeeeeeeeee
Halloween is the best!!!!.so excited its like a tiny vibration in my lower netherlands.
Coffins photobooth and dead cats is gonna be so wicked im never gonna wanna leave. Its gonna be like the 6th dimension in the Forbidden Zone except were gonna have more sex and more zombies.
today i ate almost a whole bowl of cheerios with little tiny bugs in it. then i realized and almost barfed. tanka huh.
i made 3 sisters soup today. beens, corn and squash for tommorow.
work sucks and i make hardly any money. whoppie ding!
i talked to this old hippie dude at work yesterday for 6 hours straight. he gave me his MountIce weed and told me it was the best and then i gave some to my mom and some to aaron and mom liked it a lot however aaron thought even tho it was a "namebrand" it wasn't as good as the stuff he gets. the hippie knew a lot about farming, the vikings, and other little tidbits. he said about himself that he was good at many things and master of nothing!
i like that old hippy.snazzy.
Anna and i are going to continue a project i was helping her with for school but instead we're gonna do it for fun now. Like a band. the slits had no musical talent and yet they were still pretty good.anyways theres got to be two worlds one for people who like to just slam instruments and sing broken notes and strum terrible sounds and another for those who consider themselves musicians. i wish i could consider myself a musician but its just not condusive to think this way in case someone asks me to play guitare in their band. i am definately not a master of music. and i find it really irritating when "musicians" come over aand say "oh why don;t you try and play it like this" and then they correct you. thats the frustrating thing. because its pretty arbitrary and silly to think that theres only a right way.duh.
so my tummy hurts. no more weed smoking with boys i like becuase things get comlicated and awkward.
just breathe |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 19th, 2006|03:49 pm] |
So i started my new job at the Taro grill on Queen West.
the first shift was easy and i basically just smoked ciggies and talked about stuff like Physics and bartending.
the guy Matt was telling me about Einstein's theory of "hidden variables" and Quantum Physists theory that Einsteins theory is impossible i.e. molecules and things do not have preprogrammed interactions but random interactions.
Today i trained again with Lindsey who looks, sounds and has a similar sense of humour as Indra. I ate food there which was great. Bagel with char (fish), poached egg and hollandaise sauce.
tasty nutrience.
so far my waitressing phobia hasn't made me vomit or have diarehha nightmares yet.
i tried to find a winter coat in Kensington today. i found one for 59.00 at black market. its a navy blue duffle coat. put it on hold for tommorow.
i have a new head growing out of my nostril. its fucking painful and red. maybe its a zit from when i ate Mr. Noodle and it slopped on my nose. mr noodle goes well with Miso and veggies. thats all ive been eating lately. but thanks to the new head i can't use my nose muscles very well. it truly is disgusting feeling more than looking!
my kitten got stuck really high up in some pine trees in my backyard this morning and i had to leave her there cause otherwise i would be late for work. i got sap on my fingers and i bit it all off.
i have been getting really interested what goes by many names but i will call japanese cutesy fashion. Cosplay, lolitas style has really made me want to get credit cards. i applied for one the other day. my pocketbook wont really allow me to debauch on this interest too much.
iam making some frilly bloomers today inpired by tho. along with a black dress that is almost finished but i need to add the bra straps, zipper and sew all the pieces together.
i am in the process of making christmassy paintings so i can make them into x mas greeting cards and sell them for xmas. also i am going to make high quality prints of some new and old paintings so i can also sell those.
does anyone know of any fairs or craft shows in which i can do that that are coming up within the next month or so? and is so does anyone want to set up their merchindise with me?
enuf for now
love you journalxoxo |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 12th, 2006|12:58 pm] |
sleep sleep awaken by pup and kitten wrestling
shud up gosh
stinkin beasts
last night did capoeiera till i pulled one of my ass muscles badly...still limping today
went to a job interview around 11pm last night in the rain at the Sousdal.
the guy seemed to be interested in me. if i get it i would be working at a bar called Sutra Tiki Lounge on college st which is the second of two bars that he owns. The tiki has a sand box patio. its huge.
i have an interview monday with Taro bar and Grill but i don't think its gonna be my thing
Today i am going to Ventana for a physical to make sure im healthy enough for the drug tests they will administer me. if chosen i will receive $2800.00 for taking Kadian and Oxycodon. This would be 4 sessions of two days each. i think. i really want to get this money for Mexico in December. How i hate Toronto winters.
anyways...the weather sucks. Im wearing a leopard print sweater with a red scarf and currently nothing on my bottem half. ha ha!my toes are cold. ive had no coffee today. egad!!! Im meeting up with Aaron later to play a game of chess and eat good food and no doubt catch up on shtuff. hopefully i will get all the phone calls ive been waiting for.
i realized that it sucks when people are sort of into you but not enough to really be into you. its a mind game and i feel strange about it.Sorry my ego feels strange about it.i can't stand dishonesty. it feels dishonest when someones unsure if they like you or not. what should i expect? Love, infatuation, crushes. i love them all. |
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| Quitting the fucking Beat |
[Oct. 10th, 2006|12:07 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  creative | ] |
A few days ago i dreamt i was gonna be fired from my job at Sugars the costume shop. Ive worked there for roughly six months now. Because of this dream I mentally prepared myself to quit at any second in reality. I trust my dreams to be warnings. I went in this morning prepared to work as hard as i normally do.However everything abruptly blew up. Not only was i told that i wasn't getting the raise i had asked for last week. My former boss told me that "in the six months that you've been here you haven't learned a thing". I said thats becuase for four of those months i was trained to do things differently. He told me not to use that as an excuse. I was also blamed for every other employees mistakes as well. When i said that i would ONLY take responsibilty for my own mistakes...the girl who trained me said "we need more than that Robyn, how can you be a manager if you let other peoples mistakes slip through the cracks". She was frustrated with me because i didn't file two things properly and she had to look for them for 5 minutes. I retorted to her and said "ok well if you want to be like that than how about when i came in this morning and found 17 phone messages that hadn't been listened to?" she shrugged.
My former boss told me i was being too defensive. He told me not to walk away. I cried because i felt that they were ganging up on me and it wasn't fair. He told me not to cry becuase "thats not facing reality...its too emotional..." Every time i tried to say something in my defense he would say "its too late to defend yourself....stop talking over me....your being condescending"
I told him that i felt belittled and he said "we don't do that in this company". He was mad because i left two doors open on Friday. Mind you that was the second time i had done that and they wern't the most important doors anyways. I apologized and said i would never do that again. He said "it was idiotic".I mentioned that i felt unappreciated at work all the time and so did some of the other girls...he said "whoa whoa whoa..i have 50 employees who feel appreciated....don;t talk to me about that" Then he said "robyn we like you very much here at the company but we don't respect your work!!"
At this point i gave him my keys and said "wheres my pay check?"
He said "if you bring frustration and anger to these kinds of situations than thats not a good way to go about them in life." I said i was leaving. He said "thats how your gonna be all through life...just walking away...like that"
I said "yep thats what i do when i feel disrespected...i get angry then i walk away"
Anyways peoples i have no job as of today and i feel great!!!!
I stuck it to the MAAAAAAHHHHHNNNNNNNNNNNNN
yes i feel anger and resentment too and yes i cried but im not the one whos in panic mode right now trying to find someone to work the rest of the week!!!! |
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| Rainbow Brite |
[Sep. 19th, 2006|12:50 pm] |
VIOLET
STARLITE AND RAINBOW BRITE
RED BUTTLER
PATTY
STARLITE, RAINBOWBRITE, AND I THINK CHARM SPRITE
LALA
INDIGO
CANARY
BUDDY
AND NOW FOR TWO OF THE BAD GUYS
THATS MURKY
THATS LURKY |
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| this week |
[Sep. 19th, 2006|11:24 am] |
is all about doing shit, important shit
Like finally,
applying for my Italian Citizenship
taking my bike in for a tune up/ repair
talking to anna about Miniture village idea
also
figuring out a halloween costume
deciding on an Installation/Performance with Ashley
Assembling the wardrobe project
Working on a little black magic dress
obtaining a record player and flat iron
enough sleep and coffe/ guru and im ready for anything
maybe a few winos will help too |
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